A New Family

We’ve all seen the horrifying sorority videos on Twitter of the girls chanting and clapping at scared freshmen. We voluntarily pay to spend a week walking miles in heels and having the same conversation over and over again for the hope that we might meet our sisters. 

On the first day of school 1000 girls crowded in front of Zellerbach for recruitment orientation. The air was full of anxiety and excitement and way too much Victoria’s Secret perfume. We were divided into 60 groups, each with 17 girls. Everyone plastered on a smile and made small talk as we sized up the competition. The recruitment counselors led us through ice breakers about what ice cream flavor we embody. Obviously Jackie was Rocky Road because she’s just so unexpected. Lol good one, Jackie; you’re so creative.

The first two nights we hiked up and down Piedmont, talking to 50 different girls about our major and the classes we’re taking and where we live. We all came up with fake rules for how to do well: one was to have a thing to be remembered by. I was the girl with the messed up housing application. Score! I got the same “OMG that suckssss,” and “Wait, so do you have roommates?” followed by, “Honestly it sounds like you totally lucked out!” 

At the end of night 2 we began the process known as “mutual selection.” As a PNM, potential new member, we don’t get to know how the sororities narrow us down, but our job was to rank our bottom 3 sororities from most likely to return to least likely to return. There are conspiracy theories that the sorority girls rank us after each party then put us in the computer system which generates the schedule of houses we return to. There’s another conspiracy theory that they only take girls that identify as Rocky Road, but that one is less likely. 

The next day we returned to up to 10 houses depending on how many selected you back. Right off the bat I was blindsided. I felt like I was on the Bachelor and was being dumped on my one-on-one. Like, hello? We were perfect for each other and you just dropped me? I began to question my conversations and my faith in this process before repeating my mantra “I am the prize. I am the prize.” I returned to 10 houses, one that I had attempted to drop, for what’s known as Sisterhood Day. We get to tour the houses and have longer conversations with different girls. When I tell you these houses are mansions, it’s not an exaggeration. High ceilings, rooftop lounges, balconies with million dollar views, these people live like royalty. There is literally no comparison to the frat houses. During GBO week we became familiar with the smell of urine, beer and barf that wafts through the walls of the frat houses; it’s a mystery anything besides cockroaches and rats can stand to live there.

That night we had to narrow down our list from 10 to 6. Things got real. If you got invited back to Philanthropy Day you were halfway to becoming a sister. The biggest scare factor is that a lot of girls get dropped this day. Instead of 6 houses some only have 4 or 3 which means the likelihood of getting a bid is super low. We were told the statistic that out of the 1000 girls that sign-up, 250 will drop out, 250 will be dropped and only about 500 will get a bid. Philanthropy Day is the time to have deeper conversations and get to know the more meaningful side of Greek life. There is a stereotype that accompanies sororities, that the girls are dumb or only focus on the social side of things. But after learning about what these women do for various causes, there is no doubt that sororities serve many purposes. Of course it’s nice to go to parties, but Chi Omega grants wishes for Make-A-Wish, ADPi volunteers at the Ronald McDonald house and Alpha Phi raises money and awareness for women with heart disease. The women in these houses are as amazing as what they’re accomplishing. They’re all involved in some kind of club or organization, or have had incredible internships, or have goals to change the world. Sororities at Cal are truly different than others around the country. This was the last day to decide which houses we wanted on Preference Night, and my decision was tough. There’s no rubric for this. The two houses I chose were my favorites from the start and I was ready to be a sister in either. 

The entire day my hands were shaking; girls didn’t eat due to nerves. I was handed my schedule at precisely 5:00 pm and the sound effect of shattering glass rang in my head. Boom. Heartbreak. Devastation. Blindside. Dropped?! My  favorite house decided to kick me to the curb and I was in utter disbelief. No matter how much I joked about this being such a superficial thing and that I didn’t need a sorority, the blisters on my feet were evidence enough of my investment. At this point there was no going back. My mental state was shot, my homework incomplete and my sleep schedule beyond repair. I couldn’t imagine this all being for nothing. 

I attended Preference Night and was amazed by my final 2 choices. There was no wrong answer. Except for Bid Day when I opened my envelope and had a full-on meltdown in MLK because I didn’t get my first choice. Luckily my mom convinced me that I was being stupid and that I loved these girls and that I should attend. Thank you, mom. Good advice. I had an awesome night. We had tacos and danced and it felt like I was joining a family. Now one week later, and I can honestly say I’ve met my sisters.